Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Melissa Tkautz & Other Legendary Pop Icons Celebrate 'Smash Hits'

Last night's Pop Life (a book about Smash Hits magazine) launch party at Sydney's Hard Rock Cafe was all that I hoped for and so much more. It was a trip to the land of lost pop stars, a place where 90s has-beens were mobbed like Rihanna - or, more accurately, like Deni Hines - and the legendary Melissa Tkautz shared the stage with that "Introvert/Extrovert" dude from X Factor. This nuclear-powered hot mess made my year and, more importantly, reminded me how much I miss Smash Hits. Pop blogs are great but there was something magical about having a stack of dog-eared magazines to pour over, again and again. I think I'm gonna start printing my blog posts and handing them out to random strangers at the bus stop. Because that's not weird and a sure-fire recipe for publishing success! But back to the party.

Here are some observations/anecdotes from the social event of 2011:

1. David Campbell is really short and looked seriously awkward belting out songs from '80s album "Let's Go". Stick to swing.

2. Cosima De Vito is on the comeback trail. The 2003 Australian Idol third place-getter told me she has a dance anthem called "Right Here, Right Now" set for release early next year. If it's anything like the Taylor Square remix of "Keep It Natural", I'm on board!

3. Former Young Diva Emily Williams is working with some big-wig American producer and also has new music due in early 2012.

4. The always lovely Robyn Loau has a new single in the works and hopes to re-release her criminally under-appreciated album. Can't wait.

5. Siobhan and Jacqui from Girlfriend also showed up, resulting in an awkward moment when the host brought up the possibility of a GF4 reunion. Robyn smiled but the look on her face screamed bitch, please.

6. Is Siobhan still a professional pole-dancer? Her leopard skin print mini-skirt said yes.

7. I've never seen We Go Bang Bang perform live before but the one-woman covers band was awesome. I'm going to have to check her out at the Beresford (where she has a residency of sorts). Nice '80s dance moves too!

8. Luke O'Dell cracked me up. "Introvert/Extrovert" is better than anything T-Pain has released lately.

9. Melissa Tkautz will soon appear in a glamorous new advertising campaign.

10. Apart from gracing your television screen in the near future, Mel will also be unleashing a new floorfiller in January or February.

The E Street icon really was the star of the show, looking flawless in her red gown. She belted out stunning renditions of "The Glamorous Life", current single "Something About You" (below) and her 1991 number one hit "Read My Lips". Hearing the latter live was something akin to a spiritual experience for me. Now if someone can tee up that Toni Pearen duet we've all been waiting for, I can die a happy man!

Pop Life is available to buy in all good bookstores - like Oscar & Friends - now!

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

All Hail Queen Ami!

Throw away your copy of "Ultimate Kylie" and bin the "Immaculate Collection". Who needs flops like that when you could be treating your ears to the greatest hits of Ami Suzuki? Yes, the Queen of Avex is back with a 'best of' and a new single called "Freedom". If Amigod's new anthem is half as brilliant as "Free Free" or "One", it will be a late contender for single of the year! Stay tuned for more very soon. So what about "Ami Selection"? It's a solid representation of her stunning career as the Japan's answer to Dannii but a couple of classics are missing - notably the previously mentioned "One", "Can't Stop The Disco" and her iconic cover of Kylie's "Can't Get You Outta My Head". On the bright side, there's a bonus DVD with videos and a live performance. This will be mine! The most defining release of 2011 is available from December 7. Try HMV Japan - that's where I usually buy my Ami goodies.

01. Love The Island
02. Alone In My Room
03. All Night Long
04. White Key
05. Don't Leave Me Behind
08. Don't Need To Say Goodbye
09. Tsuyoi Kizuna
10. Delightful
11. Negaigoto
12. Alright!
14. Reincarnation

- Delightful
- Negaigoto
- Alright!
- Reincarnation
02. Ami Suzuki 29th Anniversary Live
- Don't leave me behind
- Nothing Without You
- Don't need to say good bye
03. Yakiniku Shop de no Jinsei hatsu Arubaito Kikaku Eizou

Here's my favourite Ami-anthem "Free Free". Such a brilliant pop song!

Bey Outsells Your Faves (Unless They're Adele Or Gaga) - You Mad?

It's official. "4" is a US chart smash, shifting almost a million copies since its July release to land at number 7 on Billboard's list of 2011's best-sellers. Quite an achievement for an album that dared to stray from the well-worn Dr. Luke/Max Martin/RedOne path to chart glory. It's even more impressive when you consider that Beyoncé only promoted two singles before announcing her pregnancy and is yet to land a top 10 hit this era. I guess it just goes to prove that people are still interested in quality music.

As for the rest, 2011 was Adele's year. "21" slayed the field and those numbers will continue to grow well into 2012. Even if you subtract the 500,000 albums that Lady Gaga gave away for free, "Born This Way" is still a huge success but clearly not the all-conquering smash she claimed it would be. More impressive is Katy Perry, who showed real staying power with "Teenage Dream" and rising country star Jason Aldean. He owes at least some of that success to his brilliant Kelly Clarkson duet, so kudos to her too. Here are the best-selling albums of 2011 in America, as of this week:

1. 21 - Adele 4,533,000
2. Born This Way - Lady Gaga 1,902,000
3. Tha Carter IV - Lil Wayne 1,693,000
4. My Kinda Party - Jason Aldean 1,337,000
5. Sign No More - Mumford & Sons 1,294,000
6. Watch The Throne - Jay-Z & Kanye West 1,070,000
7. 4 - Beyoncé 921,000
8. Teenage Dream - Katy Perry 872,000
9. Doo-Wops & Hooligans - 871,000
10. Own The Night - Lady Antebellum - 814,000

On the topic of Bey, here's the alternate version of "Countdown" without the borrowed choreography from that Dutch ballet. It's still cute but I prefer the original.

Vengaboys Release Australian Tour CD

Quick, somebody call Uncle John from Jamaica and let him know that the most essential pop album of 2011 hits stores Decemember. Yes, people. The Vengabus is heading for Australia this Summer and Central Station is releasing a long-overdue greatest hits package to celebrate. All your favourites are present and accounted for including the seminal "We Like To Party (The Vengabus)" and the most played song on Dannii's iPod ("We're Going To Ibiza"). The only thing missing is the band's amazingly awful ode to nude-swimming "Skinny Dippin'" but the bonus disc of cheesy remixes more than makes up for it. So there you go. The ultimate stocking filler is less than a fortnight away. Talk about the gift that keeps on giving!

Here's the tracklist:


1. We Like To Party (The Vengabus)
2. Boom, Boom, Boom, Boom!!
3. Up & Down
4. We're Going To Ibiza
5. Parada de Tettas
6. Superfly Slick Dick
7. Shalala Lala
8. Kiss (When The Sun Don't Shine)
9. Ho Ho Vengaboys!
10. Uncle John From Jamaica
11. Cheekah Bow Bow (That Computer Song)
12. To Brazil!
13. Your Place Or Mine?
14. Forever As One
15. Rocket To Uranus



To get you in the Venga-mood, here's their glorious cyber-sex anthem "Cheekak Bow Bow (That Computer Song)". Does it get any better? See you at their Sydney gig!

Monday, November 28, 2011

Lorie Returns With A Flawless Pop Anthem

I don't get to write about it very often but I love French pop music. And while Queen Mylène still reigns supreme en France, I've always had a soft spot for her one-time rival Lorie. Often likened to Britney Spears due to her teenage success and dubious talent, the now 29-year-old has returned to the studio after an extended break to pursue a career in acting. She did quite well, scoring a role on The Young and the Restless as a fashion model but it was always going to be downhill after reaching that pinnacle and a music comeback beckoned.

"Dita" was released a couple of months ago - I'm very late on this - and I have no idea if it was a success or not. The feedback on YouTube is disconcerting but I love it. This is icy electro-pop at its most sophisticated and lovely. Sure, it probably helps that I can't understand the majority of the lyrics but it's very catchy and I'm really looking forward to her 6th studio album "Regarde Moi". Only time will tell if it's as triumphant as Mylène's "Bleu Noir" but I'm hopeful it will re-establish her as one of France's biggest pop stars. Watch her gorgeous "Dita" video below. It shocks me that Europe is still producing film clips of this quality, while American labels often can't be bothered at all.

Seriously, What Is This?

Please help me out because I'm confused. When did David Campbell (Australia's answer to Michael Buble) ditch his finely tailored suit for a leather jacket and Aviators? More importantly, why is the nation's Sultan of Swing churning out dubious '80s cover versions with videos that cost less than his sunglasses? I don't even know what to write about this mess. It's stuck in that awkward limbo between completely embarrassing and so-bad-it's-amazing. On one hand, I like it for the comedic value and Dave's bulging pecs. On the other, the song has been done to death and this interpretation lacks imagination. Why not do a soul or swing version? Instead, this sounds like something from karaoke night at my local pub. Which is ridiculous because the man can sing. I'm intrigued. Is the rest of his new album... this stunning? I guess I'll find out tomorrow when I see him perform live. "Let's Go" is in stores now. Buy/download it if you dare.

Sunday, November 27, 2011

Zowie - Live At The Oxford Art Factory

Zowie brought her live show to Sydney on Friday night, warming up the crowd for Strange Talk at the Oxford Art Factory. I like what I've heard from New Zealand's next big thing so far - particularly her debut single "Broken Machine" and current release "Smash It" (below) - but I've literally only heard four of her songs and really didn't know what to expect. Would she be all hype like Annie (still the worst gig I've ever seen in my life) or a revelation like Marina & The Diamonds? From what I witnessed a couple of nights ago, I'd err towards the latter. Zowie is a gale force breath of fresh air with a tight band and a batch of quirky songs that deftly blend New Wave and indie-pop influences. I loved hearing her new material and think early singles like "Bite Back" and "Love Or Hate" sound a lot meatier live.

My only reservation about the Auckland-based diva - and, unfortunately, it's quite a substantial one - is the way she is being marketed. Zowie is more Yeah Yeah Yeahs than Robyn, so why is she being promoted as the next electro-pop sensation? I think her music would get a much better reception from the Triple J crowd and tapping into that market could be the key to a long overdue commercial breakthrough. But I guess that's up to the Kiwi singer-songwriter and Sony to sort out. In the meantime, I'll just keep listening to her four song discography on repeat and hope for the best. By the way, was I dreaming or does one of Zowie's new songs sample Linda Sundblad's iconic "2 All My Girls"? I swear I heard it!

Saturday, November 26, 2011

Why 'Dance For You' Is The Worst Video Of The '4' Era

Before I get into why "Dance For You" is the first visual fail of the "4" era, I would like to qualify this post by reminding everyone that Bey's film noir adventure is just a random clip for a song on her DVD anthology. It's not a random international release like "Love On Top" or even a buzz single like "1+1". The fact that Queen B took time out from running the world to make it at all is blessing and I definitely wasn't expecting a big budget or mind-blowing choreography. But I hoped the video would suit the song and fit within the "4" era's classy aesthetic. Unfortunately, it disappoints on both counts.

"Dance For You" is one of my favourite songs on the album. I still can't believe it was wasted as a bonus track and think it could have been a single if edited down from its distinctly un-radio friendly 6:17 minute running time. For me, The-Dream's lush mid-tempo ballad sums up what "4" is all about - a blissful declaration of love and loyalty. Everything about it makes me melt. Which is probably why I'm so annoyed by the plot, which basically involves Bey walking into a room and dancing like a stripper for a guy who I assume is her client. Some fans are convinced it's her man but I think this sleazy douchebag paid for the show! Then there's the choreography. I thought Beyoncé had evolved past shameless pussy-popping. Her other videos have been effortlessly sexy without being slutty, while this is the kind of thing Rihanna would do if she was attractive and could dance.

On the bright side, I love the black and white photography and the 16-time Grammy winner looks absolutely beautiful. You can tell this was filmed after the other videos because she looks distinctly more voluptuous. Also props for the stunning use of multiple wind machines and the genuinely sexy choreography from about the 3:15 minute mark. This isn't a bad video. It's just a disappointing fit for an exquisite anthem that could have ended my favourite Bey era on a high note. Now bring on that Live DVD so I can return to my usual stanning.


Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Attention, Ms Kelly: Tenitra Is Coming For Your Wig!

The moment we've all been waiting for is here - Michelle Williams is back to revolutionise pop music as we know it! After years of shivering in Beyoncé's shadow, the Jason Orange of Destiny's Child has finally stepped into the light. And she's not returning with another aluminium-selling gospel album. Instead, Shell is gunning for Kelly Rowland's UK dance crown. A preview of "On The Run" (below) leaked months ago but the full version hit the net today and it's absolutely magnificent. The underrated diva's raspy pipes adapt surprisingly well to her new genre and the chorus explodes over the thundering house beats a glitter bomb.

Fuck "We Found Love". This is the thinking man's dance anthem! I'm so excited about Michelle's return. "Unexpected" rocked my world and still holds up as one of the best urban-pop albums of recent years. She deserves more recognition and "On The Run" could be the song to take her to the next level. Unfortunately, the full version was removed from Soundcloud but you can already pre-order it on iTunes and watch the stunning video trailer on repeat below. The world is about to learn that nobody puts Tenitra in the corner!

The Best Thing To Come Out Of Sweden - EVER!

Sweden and fine pop music go together like La Toya and publicity whoring, so it shouldn't surprise anyone that the best advertising jingle of all time has been penned for a Scandinavian weight loss product. Words can not express how obsessed I am with this mess. The clip has only racked up 1,000 views on YouTube and I'm sure at least half of them were me. It needs to be released as a single today! My favourite line? "It's loaded with minerals and electrolytes, so you can look great in those cute new tights!" RIP Saturdays. Those boring cunts could never.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Shakira Jumps On Live Album Bandwagon

You know it's almost Christmas when the shelves start filling with Greatest Hits collections and live albums. The latter is a particularly hot trend this year with concert recordings from Beyoncé, Adele, Kylie and Taylor Swift on the way. Joining those heavy-hitters is Colombian goddess Shakira, who continues to rule the charts just about everywhere but Australia. I can't wait to get my hands on her "Live From Paris" CD/DVD. The pop icon's last two albums were superb and I'm still pressed about missing her tour when I was refused entry to Mexico in July. I even approve of the tracklist, which expertly blends new hits and old favourites. If Shaki included "Men In This Town" (AKA the best single she never released), it would be absolutely perfect.

1. Pienso En Ti (Live Version)
2. Why Wait (Live Version)
3. Te Dejo Madrid (Live Version)
4. Whenever, Wherever; Whenever, Wherever\ Unbelieveable (Live Version)
5. Inevitable (Live Version)
6. Nothing Else Matters/Despedida Medley (Live Version)
7. Gypsy (Live Version)
8. La Tortura (Live Version)
9. Ciega, Sordomuda (Live Version)
10. Underneath Your Clothes (Live Version)
11. Sale El Sol (Live Version)
12. Las De La Intuición (Live Version)
13. Loca (Live Version)
14. She Wolf (Live Version)
15. Ojos Así (Live Version)
16. Antes De Las Seis (Live Version)
17. Je L'aime A Mourir (Live Version)
18. Hips Don't Lie (Live Version)
19. Waka Waka (This Time For Africa) (Live Version)

As far as I know there are no plans to release this in Australia, so you might as well import it from Amazon. Check out the bizarre DVD trailer below. I'm all from keeping an air of mystery but this is ridiculous!

Monday, November 21, 2011

All Hail The Return Of K-Lo!

It's hard to type when you're crying, shaking and masturbating but I'll do my best. My beloved orange goddess is back! Naturally, I'm talking about the former first lady of AATW - the divine Kelly Llorenna. A woman that has clocked up more dance hits (and hours at the tanning salon) than all of your faves put together! This is literally the most exciting thing to happen to me since McDonalds brought back shaker-fries. But where to start? In late 2010 I spoke to the eternally youthful English beauty about her latest project - a band called Freak Asylum. She already had an alter-ego picked out (Lola Leethal) and a video treatment at the ready but almost a year passed and nothing happened. That is until now.

The UK's hottest new band has finally dropped their debut single and it's an absolute winner. "You Better Leave" is a glorious shot of '80s-tinged synth-pop complete with Starship-tastic guitars and the kind of chorus that gets lodged in your head after one listen and refuses to leave. I know that K-Lo gets a bad rap but put your prejudice aside because this is genuinely awesome. And I haven't even started on the video, which features Kelly is various states of undress - her tangerine skin glowing like gold against her PVC fuck-me-boots. It's more than I can handle. Now where can I download this smash before I break YouTube by pressing replay too often?

Sunday, November 20, 2011

Selegend Hits The Lights & Kills Your Fave's Career

Selena Gomez is the best-kept secret in pop. That might sound ridiculous given her high-profile relationship and burgeoning acting career but the 19-year-old's flawless music is more neglected than Susan Boyle's vagina. The Texan beauty should be racking up top 10 hits with gems like "Bang Bang Bang" and "Like A Love Song" instead of tickling the lower reaches of the top 40. Take her latest single. "Hit The Lights", written by Australia's own Leah Haywood, is the kind of soaring synth-pop explosion that Britney or Ke$ha would kill for. Everything about this is magnificent. I love the sappy lyrics about following your dreams, ache for the monster chorus and revel in the glory of Selegend's exquisite rice-paper thin voice. When are music fans finally going to embrace this stunning talent as America's hottest new completely manufactured pop star? Perhaps her new video will help. "Hit The Lights" finds the diva in an unusually rebellious mood. She stays out after dark. All by herself! Watch in awe as Selena makes your fave obsolete (below).

Beyoncé Notches Up 3rd Platinum Single From '4'

Australia is quickly turning into one of Beyoncé's biggest markets. This week King B racks up her third consecutive platinum single with "Love On Top" passing 75,000 downloads sold. I actually think the song would have performed even better if it got an official digital release with the video edit and/or Mike Rizzo remix but it's hard to knock another top 20 hit. That raises the question of Bey's next Australian single. I asked Sony that very question when I interviewed Stan Walker on Friday and was told that it's still up in the air. However, they confirmed it wouldn't be "Countdown". They also let slip that "Dance For You" would be serviced to TV next week in the same way that "Countdown" and "1+1" were (ie. without being officially released as singles). Perhaps if it proves popular they might change their mind. After all, there are no other videos to choose from! And, in many ways, "Dance For You" picks up where "Love On Top" left off - with a killer old-school groove and seriously loved-up lyrics. Who cares if the dreamy anthem goes for 7 minutes? Radio will deal!

Saturday, November 19, 2011

La Toya Answers Our Prayers

Since becoming the most relevant and successful Jackson, La Toya has been on a roll. Her tireless work on the talk-show circuit single-handedly brought Michael's murderer to justice, she charmed Cardiff with one of the greatest mimed live performances of all time and now delivers us the holy grail of her discography on CD. Yes, Toy Soldiers - I'm talking about "Imagination"! The iconic diva's fourth studio album was only released on vinyl. And unlike her mega-selling #149 smash "Heart Don't Lie", it sank without a trace and is next to impossible to find. How exciting then that the re-release even comes with bonus tracks!


1. He's A Pretender
2. On A Night Like This
3. How Do I Tell Them
4. Imagination
5. Baby Sister
6. Imagination
7. Love Talk
8. Boys Got Somethin' Girls Ain't Got

Bonus Tracks

9. Imagination - Hot Dance Mix
10. Imagination - Dub Mix
11. Baby Sister - Instrumental Version
12. Imagination - 7" Remix

I adore every song on "Imagination". Toy Toy's version of "He's A Pretender" is '80s pop perfection, while the calypso-tinged "On A Night Like This" brings visions of sunny island paradise and "Boys Got Something Girls Ain't Got" more than lives up to its amazing title. However, the album is best know for La Toya's stunning Janet diss "Baby Sister". The critically acclaimed anthem - it won the Outstanding Song Award at the 16th Annual World Popular Song Festival in Japan! - is toygasmic from beginning to end. Listen to it below and order your copy of the re-release today. I just hope we don't crash the label's server with all our orders.

Friday, November 18, 2011

Stan Walker On Why Beyoncé Is The Best And Other Important Topics

Stan Walker is a man on a mission. The 21-year-old released this third album in as many years today and he's hoping it will propel his already hugely successful career to the next level. Earlier this afternoon I spoke with the Australian Idol winner about his move towards dance music, killer seagulls and the undeniable awesomeness of Justin Bieber. Even more excitingly, I discovered that Stan stans for Beyoncé and we had a good chat about why she is better than your fave. "Let The Music Play" is a great pop album that belongs in your collection. Pick it tomorrow morning, along with a copy of "4"!

You seem to have embraced dance music this time around. Are the first two singles a taste of what's to come on the album?
On the album it's more than just dance. Dance is the most prominent [genre] but there's a bit of gospel, a bit of R&B, a few culture-inspired songs. Dance is definitely the most... but it's really based around pop. I wanted to take people on a journey and not just restrict it to just pop and dance. So it's got elements of soul, gospel and R&B in there.

What prompted the move towards dance? Your last album was quite urban.
It's just me evolving as an artist. If anything this [album] is the greatest I've done because I've never sung like this. This is stretching me vocally, as a writer - because I wrote the album - and just being relevant and just being me. Expressing myself through music and where I'm at.

You said you wrote the album. Who else did you work with? I know DNA and Jon Asher have a couple of songs on there.
I wrote 85-90% of the album and then I had a few tracks from Jon. And I have a couple of covers. A Dave Dobyn one and an Eva Cassidy one. When I'm in the studio I worked with everybody in Australia and a couple of people in America. But writing was so awesome. I had to step it up. It was good. I found stuff in me that I didn't know I could do. I didn't realise I had the potential to write these sort of songs. The next singles that I bring out will all be songs I've written.

What inspired the Eva Cassidy cover?
"Songbird" is a great song. One of my favourite songs. One of my family's favourites as well. My mum sings this with me on there. A bit of a surprise. I've always wanted to have someone from my family do something with me. And I got my mum... it just shows more of who I am.

I didn't know you come from a musical family.
Yeah, my whole family sings and plays instruments.

Can you tell me a bit about your current single "Light It Up". How did the collaboration with Static Revenger come about?
That track was the longest process of getting the right mix. We sent it to him and he made it what it is today. We were trying different things, different people and it just wasn't hitting it and he just got that mix. It was the one. So he's the man.

You're also killing it with "Galaxy". Did Jessica (Mauboy) approach you?

It was originally mine! And then we ended up doing it together and then we ended up doing it more for her single. It was meant for us both from the start. We always wanted to do a song together. We're like brother and sister. We work together all the time, we're good friends and we've been looking for a song. We love it, ay. We love it so much. It's an awesome song.

Where did you film the video? It looks really cool.
We filmed it on the cliffs of Clovelly.

So it was just don't the road? I thought it looked familiar!
Man when people watch it they think it's a big international production but yeah just down the road. [Laughs].

Have you picked out the next single?
We're brainstorming it at the moment. Trying to work out which song we're going to do. How we're going to do it. I've sort of decided but I haven't. It's hard because I love them all and it's like what is the song that will carry me to the next level.

You've come a long way in such a short period. Already up to album number three. What's been the biggest change for you since leaving Australian Idol?
The growth, the character. I've grown up so much. I realised that this is quite a tough industry. It's challenging, it's hard work and it's caused me to grow up. Caused me to be stronger. I was definitely in the honeymoon period when I was on Idol and now this is the relationship. For better or worse if it was marriage.

What are you listening to now? You're always sharing your favourites on Twitter.
I'm loving David Guetta. He's incredible. He's my favourite dance act. He's a genius. He gets these full on dance-y beats and he puts vocal beasts on them - Jessie J, Usher, Chris Brown...

Jennifer Hudson
Oh my gosh that's my favourite song! And Sia. He's got vocal beasts on there and I just think that's so brilliant. So him and Justin Bieber. He's the man, ay? People underestimate his talent because he's a teen. I bought some of his Christmas songs on iTunes. He's gansta, man! I love him, ay. I just love his style.

And you were tweeting about your favourite R&B albums recently.
I love Amy Winehouse. She's a beast, man. But my favourite album is actually Beyonce's new album.

My favourite topic!
Man. I get frustrated how people can even criticise that and say this and that. They do not understand. People were like "Run The World" that's such a dumb song. I go, "you try and sing that. You try and sing it like she sings it!" And put all that into that simple song. There's no way anybody else could sing it. Beyoncé is the best. She's crazy. "Love On Top", man. That's already at a high level and she does four key changes. It's like listening to old Jackson 5. She said in an interview "it was never about radio, it was never about making a hit. It was about stuff I love" and I just admire her so much for doing that.

So what's your favourite song from "4"?
Track number two.

"I Care". Such a good song!
[Starts singing] "I Care" and "Love On Top".

Have you seen any clips from the Roseland concert?
Yeah I watched the DVD. It was incredible.

Speaking of tours. You've got your own coming up with Jessica Mauboy. What can we expect?
Everything! I think later next year I'll put on my own tour but this is definitely a big taste of what's to come. I don't want to give away too much but it'ds definitely going to be more than anybody's seen of me. I got a full band. I got my dancers. It's a full show. We get to show people who we are. We get to share the depths of us. Me and Jess we both pride ourselves on our live performances, so we can't wait.

Can I just ask about Twitter? I think you're one of my favourite people on there. You're so authentic.
I love Twitter. Twitter is really cool, ay? It's an awesome tool. Just to be able to connect with fans, friends. I'm quite straight up, ay? I talk about everything. Like when I was in New Zealand and I saw this giant seagull walk over and swallow another bird.

They are huge in New Zealand. It just swallowed him whole! I thought I was tripping. I couldn't believe it. So that's the kind of thing I have to tweet. Cannibal birds.

That's incredible. Thanks so much for your time!
Thanks heaps.

Thursday, November 17, 2011

A Double Dose Of Beyoncé Live

Queen B dropped two live videos today to promote her soon-to-be-released "Live At Roseland" DVD. Needless to say both are flawless demonstrations in wig snatching but I have a huge problem with the "End Of Time" clip. Why is footage from Glastonbury spliced into it? I was lucky enough to be at her first Roseland concert and it was breathtaking from beginning to end. There's no need to cut other performances into it. Hopefully they just jazzed up "End Of Time" so it can be used as the world's cheapest official video at a later date because I will be inconsolable if they use this on the DVD. It's so unnecessary it almost defies belief. Apart from that, it's must-see material:

While "End Of Time"gives me the shits, I have spent the past 5 or 6 hours watching "I Was Here" on repeat. This triumph is giving me life. From the heartfelt vocal to the home movies, this the muscal equivalent of Beaches. Bey has been at this her whole life. Happily for her, practice did make perfect. Watch history below.

Korean Diva Jacks Luciana's Swagger

Seo In Young is on the fast track to becoming my new K-Pop fave. As if the scandal surrounding her ever-changing nose wasn't fabulous enough, Korea's plastic angel has endeared herself to me even further by ripping off Luciana's "I Like That" on her latest single. Which not only reveals exquisite taste in dance divas but also a willingness to embrace electro. Two characteristics I greatly admire. And while "Oh My Gosh" isn't quite as good as Luci's floorfiller, it is something of a jam. I love the brutal beats and her spitfire delivery. The video is cool too. Extra points for the random animation and fishermen in business suits but can someone please explain why she's dancing with the Ku Klux Klan? Anyway, fingers crossed it's a hit. The former Jewelry singer has been absent from the charts for a couple of years and that stunning nose is too good to waste on a has-been!

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Luciana Breaks The Drought

This week Luciana scores her first top 50 hit as the lead artist since 1994. That's a 17-year gap, people! While many fans think the dance diva began her career singing "Yeah Yeah" for Bodyrox, she actually started out making R&B-tinged pop as a veritable foetus in the early '90s. Since then she's been in three bands, released countless records as the featured artist and even recorded a duet with Betty White. I'm glad she can finally add solo star to her long list of achievements! The performance of "I'm Still Hot" boggles the mind. To go top 50 with a camp electro-anthem on an independent dance label with minimal airplay and little promotion is amazing. Hopefully, radio programmers will wise up to the surprise hit of the 2011 and start spinning it. Help them out by voting for the song on the Hot 30 and keep downloading Luci's smash from iTunes.

I guess now is as good a time as any to announce the winners of my "I'm Still Hot" comp:


Cogratulations! To collect your CD, just tweet or email me your address and I'll pop it in the post!

Beyoncé Has Reason To Party

Beyoncé bagged her first urban airplay chart-topper of the "4" era yesterday when "Party" dethroned the charmingly titled "Niggas In Paris". That sound you hear is a heavily pregnant woman snatching your fave's wig. It's funny. When Bey announced dual 3rd singles in the States, I thought "Countdown" would be the runaway hit. That glorious anthem is still a standout for me but, like the equally awesome "Get Me Bodied", it just didn't work. Instead, urban fans have latched onto Kanye's breezy joint. The song has climbed to #54 on the Billboard Hot 100 based on airplay alone (it's not even top 200 on iTunes), so it will be interesting to see how much higher it can go. Perhaps it's a slow burn smash. In any case, Queen B is reconnecting with R&B fans and that's a good thing. With Rihanna making disposable dance music, Bey has the genre to herself. That is until Ms Kelly releases "Motivation 2012".

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Sydney K-Pop Festival 2011 - Review

Last night's K-Pop Festival was one of the most surreal experiences of my life. From the bizarre pre-event press conference to the post-concert wave-a-thon, I felt like I had been transported to alternate universe. Or plied with acid and let loose in Koreatown. The result was not entirely unpleasant but I'm still trying to wrap my head around it. Maybe I should just start at the beginning. Regular readers of this blog will know that I'm a casual fan of K-Pop. I was one of the first sites outside Asia to feature the Wonder Girls and am probably the only person alive that still stans for Mina but I don't live and breathe the genre like some people. Which allows me to be more objective than most. I just went along hoping to be entertained. I got that and a whole lot more.

ANZ Stadium was already buzzing when I arrived at 4:30pm. There were cultural activities outside the venue, a live stage courtesy of Pop Asia, delicious food stands and thousands of excited fans. After wading through the crowd I finally found the entrance for the press conference and made my way into a half-empty room full of media giants like the Christian Review and Hello K-Pop. As far as I could see none of the major newspapers or TV stations had sent reporters, which reflects their complete lack of interest in the event. Some of that has to do with the Festival's incredibly poor marketing campaign but there's definitely a pre-conception in the media that K-Pop's appeal only extends to the Asian community. It's disappointing and blatantly incorrect. The line-up included global stars that have sold millions around the world. But I'll get off my soapbox.

I was excited they announced that all 12 of the artists would be attending the press conference. My fellow bloggers were almost hyperventilating when the acts started arriving and they were truly a sight to behold. The girls looked like pretty dolls in their colourful costumes and the boys did their best to smoulder. Then they sat down and just looked bored. I think some of them might have even fallen asleep. Three pre-submitted questions were asked before the convener told us to take some pics (from a five metre distance) and then herded the acts away from us like cattle. I definitely get the impression that the bands are kept under tight wraps. Like Britney but worse. The highlight for me occurred right at the end when I randomly waved at the missA girls and caught the pretty blond's attention. She smiled and waved back until she was told to march off. As I was to learn later that night, K-Pop is big on waving.

After being dragged to the front of the stage two hours before kick off by my increasingly excited/annoying friend, I was finally able to soak in my surrounds. ANZ stadium was quarter full of people holding SNSD signs and lovesick teenagers of both genders discussing which TVXQ boy is hotter. It was a sight to behold. At 7pm our glamorous hosts took the stage to talk about the cultural significance of the Festival - it marked 50 years of friendship between Australia and Korea - and to introduce the acts. First up was SHINee. They came out and delivered a high-energy three song set complete with cute choreography and live vocals. Which, to be honest, I didn't expect given their TV performances in Korea. "Hello" was the only song I recognised but the others were catchy and they deserve credit for kicking off the event on such a high note.

Next up were my new homegirls, missA. They looked and sounded amazing - which might have had something to do with them singing over a backing track - but they put on a show. Unfortunately they only got to perform two songs. I can't help but feel they got a bit shafted. They were shoved in the corner at the press conference and performed before several smaller acts. Aren't these girls huge in Korea? Rude. SISTAR then upped the trash quota of the event with their matching pink-sequined dresses and bad miming. I love their music and sexy dance moves but it was a bit too Eurovision for me. The same could be said of the first of four inter-group collaborations. Members of SHINee and Girls Generation danced to a medley of songs I didn't recognise with the exception of Michael Jackson's "Jam". It was odd but good to see the acts mingling.

If you think K-Pop is all frenetic choreography and pulsating dance beats, then check out 2AM. They are the Korean equivalent of Il Divo and belted out three power ballads. It's not my thing but the gays next to me were clutching their pearls and waving their phones in the air, so I guess something was lost in translation. Secret's appeal is more universal. This quartet of curvaceous stunners - apart from Sunhwa, who is a complete mess - has a very distinct style that sets them apart from the other girlbands. I loved their camp Cabaret-inspired entrance and the almost Andrews Sisters sound of their music. Some of their songs ("Starlight Moonlight" for example) could be mistaken for nursery rhymes. They were up there as one of my favourites. It was then time for the next collaboration. 2AM were joined by singers from 4Minute and SISTAR to cover Beyoncé's "Halo". I've heard better versions at my local Karaoke bar but it was all kinds of amazing. King B runs Korea too.

To be honest I had never heard of B2ST before the event but they now have a new fan. In fact, I think they outshone just about everyone. The boys definitely had the best choreography and their live vocals were flawless. If I had to choose the best song of the night it would go to "Fiction", which was superb. That performance was hard to follow but Girls Generation were greeted with deafening applause when they took the stage. They started with their current single "The Boys". I was a bit disappointed that they choose to perform the Korean original instead of the English version designed to give them international appeal but they are a machine. Everything runs like clockwork. They never miss a dance step and sounded surprisingly good given that it was, at least partly, live. It was nice to hear "Kissing You" but "Gee" was the undeniable crowd favourite. Next up was the third collaboration - this time between CNBLUE, B2ST and MBLAQ. I went to get a drink when they came on but I'm sure they were great.

4Minute heated up the stage with their electro-trash tunes but there was nothing to distinguish these girls from the pack. In fact, I found them rather boring. MBLAQ was a different story. G.O. wins the award for being the hottest man in K-Pop and I was blown away by their singing and dancing. However, the loser wearing the Harry Potter cape needs to go. I can't wait to dig further into their discography. CNBLUE came out next and really shook things up. First of all, they are a rock band and play their own instruments. I had never heard of them before but I liked their catchy brand of pop/rock. "I'm A Loner" is a particularly good song. Our glamorous hostesses then announced the final collaboration of the evening between 4Minute and missA. It was a cover of Kylie's "Can't Get You Out Of My Head" as a tribute to Australia. I loved every second of this. Their pronunciation was great and they even busted out some of the original choreography. The elder Minogue would be proud.

That left two acts - KARA and TVXQ. I can understand why they left TVXQ till last given their incredible popularity but KARA? I'm not here for those flops. The PVC clad girlband were fine but hardly a standout. They mimed for starters and their dancing was sub-par. However, it was great to hear "Mister". Such a cute song. After their three-song set, TVXQ took the stage looking every inch the Kings of K-Pop. On Twitter I joked that they looked like extras from Star Wars and I'm still not sure about those Comic-Con outfits but they definitely have presence. I was expecting big things from them and the boys partly delivered. Their vocals were good but their famous choreography wasn't as impressive as I was expecting. They just did a lot of jumping. The crowd lapped it up though but I was slightly underwhelmed until they delivered a killer punch with the amazing "Keep Your Head Down". That song ended the three hour Festival and all 12 acts were called back on stage to wave at the crowd. Which they did for what felt like an eternity. Waving to the left, then waving to the right and then waving to the fans in the stands. On the left and the right. As I said earlier, waving is extremely important in K-Pop!

So what to make of this curious event? On one hand, being exposed to that much K-Pop in one hit was overwhelming. A few acts of the acts tread very similar ground and it became a bit repetitive. If you asked a newcomer the difference between 4Minute and KARA, I'm sure you would just get a blank look. Also, the quirky choreography and colourful costumes that define the genre work against it in bulk. The event had a distinict Eurovision vibe to it, which isn't going to help sell the genre as hip and edgy. As a whole these artists need less pageantry and more originality. They also need to try and show more personality. There was something quite robotic about a lot of the performances. On the other hand, K-Pop devotees were treated to the night of their lives. They got to see all their idols and clearly enjoyed the aspects that grated on me. Furthermore, organisers sold 20,000 tickets with no publicity. Can you imagine the turn out of people knew about it? Perhaps most importantly, the event offered an insight into why the genre is exploding in popularity. There is no pretense. These acts are, quite openly, manufactured to entertain. And they do a very good job of it. All in all, there's a lot to improve on but I really hope this isn't the last time the K-Pop Festival rolls into town.

Friday, November 11, 2011

Elen Levon's French Adventure

While "Naughty" failed to set the charts on fire in Australia, Universal France is banking on a warmer reception in the land of fine wine and fromage. They have snapped up Elen Levon's debut single and plan on rush-releasing it by the end of the year. Which means it will be out in a matter of weeks! I really think this could work. The French have exquisite taste in urban-dance music (Kat DeLuna's era-defining "Push Push" reached the top 10 over there) and they love the pretty ladies. On the local front, Elen has been busy working on her follow-up single "Sun Burns Out". It is a total change of pace for the budding diva and will, no doubt, surprise a lot of people. She has also been in the studio with the ever-hot Luciana and the preview I heard gave me "Don't Hold Your Breath" chills. Stay tuned for more info!

Sorry For Being Mean, Taylor

Earlier this week the bonus disc of Taylor Swift's "Speak Now" was released on US iTunes. Considering the album has already sold almost 4 million copies in that country (more that Rihanna's "Loud" and Lady Gaga's "Born This Way" put together), it should have been a minor footnote on another impressive year for the country diva. Instead, three tracks rocketed into the top 10 - with the rather lovely "If This Was A Movie" knocking Ri-cycle's "We Found Love" from the top spot. The achievement inspired me to revisit "Speak Now" after initially dismissing it as "a breathtakingly self-indulgent, monotonous vanity project plagued by trite Hallmark card lyrics". It even made my worst albums of 2010 list, which in retrospect was probably fuelled by a series of uninspiring award show performances that left me seriously questioning the 21-year-old's vocal ability.

Well, I take it back. While I standby some of my comments - her woe-is-me attitude grates and the Disney princess lyrics wear thin in places - "Speak Now" is not a terrible album. In fact, I rather like it. "Mine" still shines, "The Story Of Us" is the closest Taylor has come to Ashlee Simpson-esque pop/rock and I flat out love "Superman". However, the highlight is definitely "Mean". Released as a single way back in March, this quirky little gem has finally clicked with me. I'm not sure if it's the relatable theme, beautifully simple production or deceptively catchy chorus but I can't get enough. Tay has an undeniable ability to tap into emotions. I just wish she would expand her lyrical horizons. Maybe that will come with age. In the meantime, I'm playing this on repeat. Check out the cute video below if you missed it the first time around. All of sudden, I can't wait for Ms Swift's Australian tour!

Thursday, November 10, 2011

My 2 Cents On Madonna's Latest

An exclusive first look at Madonna's "Give Me All Your Love" artwork

I still remember the first and only time I listened to "Hard Candy". My ears started to bleed and I had to douche with holy water before throwing the CD under the nearest moving vehicle. It took me years to recover but lately I've become a bit sentimental about the old girl and found myself revisiting her earlier work - particularly 2003's underrated "American Life". I was actually looking forward to new material but if the recently leaked "Give Me All Your Love" is any indication of the pop icon's new sound, I'll pass. And not for the reasons other people are citing. Let's be clear - I like it when old ladies make club records!

If it were up to me Olivia Newton-John and Bette Midler would be in the studio dabbling in dub step at this very moment. The idea that dance music is restricted to kids is just ridiculous. Madonna has always been about the dancefloor and will hopefully still be popping her wrinkly pussy in that gross leotard well into her twilight years. The problem is her choice of material. "Give Me All Your Love" is embarrassing. I don't think it sounds like Britney or Gwen Stefani and Avril Lavigne fans need to take a seat. She did not invent chanting! The sad truth is none of those divas would release something this generic and soulless. Well, apart from Ms Spears.

While I can't deny that there's something cute (and catchy) about the chorus, as a whole, it falls flat. Madonna sounds like a robot and the lyrics are painful. Age has got nothing to do with it. This track would be equally shit if sung by a 20 year old. Earlier today Guy Oseary tweeted that "Give Me All Your Love" is just a demo, which is some relief but he did confirm it would be on the album. My question is why? Madonna can work with whoever she likes and this Sabi B-side is the best she can come up with? Return to the drawing board, bitch and try again. Your legacy demands it.

Wednesday, November 09, 2011

Win A Signed Luciana Promo Single!

This is my favourite competition ever. Because it literally is exclusive to this blog. I've got a handful of "I'm Still Hot" promo singles to give away that were pressed simply due to my annoying kindly asking the record company. So this is THE only place to pick up a physical copy of the hottest dance track on radio. Luciana's latest is turning out to be something of a smash (#35 on iTunes and climbing), so I'm sure you will be hearing a lot more from the Queen of electro over the next couple of months.

How to enter:

1) You need to be following Luci on Twitter - her handle is @LucianaCaporaso

2) Once you've done that simply tweet me saying you want to enter the comp and you're in the draw - my handle is @poptrashmike

Unfortunately, you have to be in Australia but if you can passionately convince me of your devotion to the legendary dance diva, I'll make a couple of exceptions.

Good luck!

Monday, November 07, 2011

Traci Lords' Last Drag

Traci Lords is back with new music! A stunning turn of events that will no doubt overshadow Madonna's comeback and force poor Rihanna into retirement. The underage-porn-star-turned-cult-actress is a true underground pop icon. Her 1995 opus "1000 Fires" remains one of my favourite dance albums of that decade and has rightly won a loyal following due to the 43-year-old's unusually dark and depressing lyrics. "Fallen Angel", in particular, holds up as brilliantly evocative anthem. One listen and I'm back holding a glow stick at a rave party!

Traci gave up on music in the mid-'90s to concentrate on acting but has released a couple of singles over the years, including a cute interpretation of Missing Persons' "Walking In L.A." - a song which Margo also covered last year. After a four year hiatus, the star of John Waters' Cry-Baby is back with "Last Drag". The track finds Traci in an unusually mainstream mood with a catchy pop/rock chorus and amazing smoking metaphors. I love it and am pleased to hear that it's already a #46 Billboard club smash. Take a listen to "Last Drag" below and download the soundtrack of Summer 2012 from iTunes now.

Sunday, November 06, 2011

Janet Jackson - Up Close & Personal In Sydney

Contrary to popular belief, I like Janet. A lot. Of course, my loyalties lie with the thinking man's Jackson (ie. La Toya) but for most of the '90s her less attractive sister ranked as one of my favourite divas - right alongside Kylie, Whitney and Mariah. That admiration began to fade with the release of "All For You" and was pretty much gone by 2004's horrendous "Damita Jo" but time has not wearied the brilliance of albums like "Rhythm Nation 1814" and "Janet". The reason why I'm mentioning this is to communicate the fact that I'm not a rabid hater who went along to a very expensive concert just to trash it. I was looking forward to seeing Jan strut her stuff and enjoyed the show immensely. But there's no denying it was a sub-standard affair that painfully demonstrated just how awkwardly the '90s hitmaker fits into a Lady Gaga run world.

Let me explain. I felt much the same about seeing Whitney Houston in concert last year. While Nippy was a hot mess for very different reasons, they both struck me as legendary relics struggling to find their place in the new world order. That's not to say their fans didn't lap up each and every second or that newcomers can't appreciate their contribution to popular culture but, to be blunt, they just don't cut it anymore. I've seen better shows at RSL clubs than the spectacle (or lack thereof) that Janet put on last night. Before the Janatics bring out their voodoo dolls, I know the show is intended to be "up close and personal" - AKA "cheap and scaled back". And that would have been fine for a powerhouse vocalist but seeing a once legendary entertainer out of shape, failing to pull off simple dance moves and wearing the one outfit for the entire show was just depressing. By the end of the night she even had a triangular patch of vagina sweat on her jeans. Not pretty!

Even if you dismiss Number Ones as a lame, half-arsed tour she brought to Australia to pass the time until launching an all-conquering comeback, I still don't know how she'll fare. Lady Gaga and Beyoncé have upped the live ante by singing (well) and dancing like banshees. Rihanna and Katy Perry hide their vocal shortcomings with pyrotechnics and pomp. But miming along to a backing track, while dancing badly just won't cut it anymore unless you're Britney Spears. Janet is the Commodore 64 of pop but like that outdated and now obsolete computer, she is not without charm and managed to deliver a fun and entertaining show - largely on the strength of her killer back catalogue and general sweetness.

After playing "Runaway" on a big screen as a tribute to Sydney, Janet was greeted by a standing ovation from frenzied fans. She looked a bit dowdy in ill-fitting jeans and a white jacket but her face hasn't changed a bit since her hey day and she did a good job performing "The Pleasure Principle" - even though a large portion of the crowd obviously didn't know the words. The stage was completely bare apart from the band and dancers, which looked odd in a venue like the Opera House. I was hoping for some props or even a smoke machine to make it seem less bleak. They never came. But when you're hearing a childhood hero belt out "What Have You Done For Me Lately?" you soon forget about staging. I was almost as happy to hear "Feedback" live. It was sloppy and the first indication that the choreography wasn't quite up to scratch but I'm glad she didn't ignore "Discipline", which I actually think is quite an underrated album. The hits followed with anthems like "Miss You Much" and "Nasty", before Jan made a hasty exit.

During the first mini-break, the diva treated us to highlights from her acting career including a disturbing clip of her being abused on Good Times and the infamous punanie scene from Poetic Justice. It was odd and quite disconcerting. She returned to the stage, in the same sweat-stained clothes and knocked out a bunch of ballads including the still gorgeous "Again". She might have even sang a few notes over the backing tape on that one. Another break followed, accompanied by the tackiest screen projection I have ever seen at a concert. I'm convinced Janet made it herself using Windows Movie Maker. She returned after what felt like an eternity to sing "Escapade" - one of my all-time faves - followed by what is probably my favourite Miss Jackson tune, "Love Will Never Do (Without You)". It was a potent reminder of how impeccable her early material was. Less impressive was her lazy rendition of "When I Think Of You" but "Runaway" got a great reception as did "That's The Way Love Goes" - Janet's only Australian number one hit.

Seeing the diva perform "If" was a highlight for me (love it) but her version of "Scream" got a better reception from the audience. It was eerie seeing Michael on the big screen and Jan seemed to put in more effort for her murdered brother. La Toya would have been proud! She closed the show with "Rhythm Nation" but returned shortly thereafter to mime another of my favourites, "Together Again", while the screen showed old photos of Michael and Janet. The still amazing "All For You" then ended the pop icon's first Sydney show in almost 13 years. I'm sure Jan would have scoffed if you told her in 1998 that her next Australian tour would have involved one costume and a handful of tiny venues but I really enjoyed myself and her fans seemed happy. And while I left with the impression that she can't quite cut it anymore, I'm hoping she'll prove me wrong. Excuse me now while I go and listen to "Janet" for the third time today.

Saturday, November 05, 2011

Luciana Heats Up Newcastle

A lot has happened since Luciana last blessed us with a visit. "I Like That" continued to make waves internationally long after it had achieved double platinum status in Australia and she featured on a bunch of well-received floorfillers - most notably Lethal Bizzle & Nick Bridges' "Go Go Go", which charted on the back of Neon Stereo's popular remix and Nari + Milani's amazing "I Got My Eye On U". And then came "I'm Still Hot". A number one US club smash and pop culture curiosity thanks to the camp-as-tits re-make with Betty White. That killer tune has also led the Queen of Electro back to our shores. With no real promotion or radio airplay, "I'm Still Hot" has surprised everyone by rocketing up Australian iTunes and, with a bit of luck, could turn out to be the much-loved dance diva's next crossover hit.

Given the buzz surrounding Luci's latest anthem, I wasn't surprised to find the King Street Hotel in Newcastle packed to the rafters last night. It was worth the two hour drive from Sydney just to see the punters' reaction when she hit the floor for a pre-show boogie! At around midnight she crammed into the tiny DJ booth and delivered a typically brilliant set. Mrs Clow began with an awesome rendition of "I Got My Eye On You" - easily one of my favourites singles of 2010. The song never got the love it deserved over here, which still annoys me. Next up was the evergreen "Yeah Yeah", followed by the track of the hour - "I'm Still Hot". I loved hearing it live for the first time and witnessing a small army of pissed girls chanting the lyrics bodes well for its future success. Luciana then closed the show "I Like That", almost falling out of the DJ booth with her broken doll dance moves. That song is still a shot of pure electro-adrenaline and almost tore the roof down.

Make sure you head along to Nevermind tonight. Luci will be performing at the final Disagraceland and I'm sure they plan to go out with a bang! If you can't make it or just need another dose of dance music royalty, watch "I'm Still Hot" below and download it from iTunes now.

Thursday, November 03, 2011

Wednesday, November 02, 2011

Soraya's Latest Triumph

Soraya has cemented her status as Europe's leading vocalist by dressing up as James Brown - complete with brown face - and covering "I Feel Good" on Spanish TV. Her version is so much better than the original. Is there anything this woman can't do? From coming 23rd at Eurovision to scoring a number 89 airplay hit in Russia, the pride of Extremadura has experienced more success in the past two years than your fave will in a life time! One question though. Where is the fucking "Stick Shift" video? And why have there been no further singles from "Dreamer"? I think the answer is clear. Soraya is simply too sexy for the European Union and conservative politicians have conspired to derail her triumphant career. The time has come for the pop legend to spread her wings and move to Australia where her talent will be appreciated. But maybe leave the brown paint in Spain. And hurry up and release "I Got You" or "Twilight" as a single!

Do you like Katy Perry & Fisting?

If so, "Extra Intestinal" is the song for you! Mike Diamond's stunning interpretation of "ET" is the perfect soundtrack to your next dungeon visit. Let amazing lyrics like "fill me with your knuckles, my colon will buckle" inspire you to unclench and demolish what's left of your pelvic floor. You just know that Russell plays this glorious anthem before making Katy slip on her pink Hello, Kitty rubber gloves and massage his prostate. While I'm feeling Mike's witty words and almost operatic vocals, MC Matinga steals the show. Who needs Kanye West when you could this adonis go H.A.M. on your hot track? Oh and Sheena Easton even makes a cameo. Clearly this is a late contender for song of the year. Check out the NSFW extravaganza below.

Tuesday, November 01, 2011

Stan & Jessica's Blockbuster Video

A couple of days ago I posted the cover of Jessica and Stan's awesome duet and today the video arrived. Ever since "Get Em Girls" did for green Lycra what Jaws did for swimming, I'm kind of terrified when J Malley drops a new clip. They always seem to go horribly wrong and spoil an otherwise great song. Happily, Sony stretched the diva's budget to four figures this time around and "Galaxy" is largely inoffensive. I'm not sure about that peach dress or the cheap floating crystals but I like the red moon and meteors.

More importantly, Stan is there for eye candy and he works his trademark chest clap for extra emotional impact. They look so cute together! And after seeing them perform the song on tonight's X Factor, I'm even more excited about their joint tour. The current King and Queen of Aus Idol sounded great and I loved their pared back version of "Galaxy". This is a good song and deserves to be a big hit. The ballad is rocketing up iTunes - #14 at present - so, mission accomplished.

Beyoncé Has The Hottest Fans


Who Runs YouTube?

"Run The World (Girls)" has just passed 100,000,000 views on YouTube. Swallow that bitter pill, haters! While not a record by any means - Justin Bieber's "Baby" has been viewed 600,000,000+ times - more people have tuned in to watch Bey's Tofo Tofo dance and growling hyenas than Lady Gaga's "Born This Way" or Britney's "Hold It Against Me". Not bad for a song that only reached #29 in America. This is further proof for me that the schizophrenic jam was ahead of its time. People just couldn't get their head around it but were fascinated enough to keep coming back for more. Which explains why it's still hanging around iTunes all these months later and creeping towards a platinum certification in the States. Re-live the wonder of a goddess at the top of her game below.